Baby, it’s cold outside. Currently the temperature is somewhere in the low single digits and anyone caught outside without proper protection would quickly become a Birdseye Frozen Human within moments.
As the temperature has now hovered continuously in the teens for over a week, most Hoosiers are going stir-crazy while pining for the seemingly tropical breezes of March in Indiana. Fortunately, at least we’re not experiencing the Dropping of the Iguanas.
No, we are not referring to some kind of arcane central-American religious festival. According to several Florida media sources, the temperature is south Florida has reached the low 40’s and the indigenous but non-native population of Iguanas is quickly becoming fire-art food as they freeze and literally drop out of trees like scaly torpedoes.
Most residents seem pretty happy about this state of climactic affairs though the idea of disposing of the two-foot-long deceased reptiles must surely present a few logistical problems. For instance, does the local garbage service enforce a limit on the number of large dead omnivorous lizards one may place in the trash per week?
To clarify, the homeowner was referring to iguanas, not tourists.