It is 3 a.m. and we are finally sitting at our desk.
It has been a long trip home including nearly-missed connections and the usual mystery flight delays. Having spent the last 16 hours in airports and airplanes, we must make a quick rant-
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!?
Without going into the usual cliche stand-up comic routine about the “joy” of flying, we offer the following 10 observations before winding down enough to sleep.
1. Since the move to charge for baggage, people are now attempting to claim things like semi-tractor tires and and vending machines as “carry-on baggage.”
2. People from foreign cultures provide an interesting spice to the stew of humanity and help reinforce the idea that we are all the same. However, we are not all the same in the category of personal hygiene. Why can’t certain cultures (which we won’t name) embrace soap or or, alternately, stop using cheap splash-on cologne as an all-purpose body wash.
3. After landing in Chicago, the man sitting in front of me was loudly holding a conference call ON THE RUNWAY! Is anyone that busy? If so, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your life choices.
4. Parents today are completely, totally and utterly over-indulgent with their children. Yes, little Jeffery is a darling but he really shouldn’t be allowed to play with things like emergency exit doors. Here’s a clue to raising good kids: tell them No once in a while. It actually does some good.
5. No matter how many times you loudly tell the gate attendants that you have to get to Indianapolis, it won’t make the airplane appear any faster. It will, however, cause the other passengers to comment among themselves about what an obvious assbag you are.
6. While we certainly can’t hold a candle to those who are “road-warriors” by trade, we will claim experience on seven different airlines in the past two months. Based on this limited sample, we will recommend Alaska Air as head and shoulders above all major air carriers. Nice planes, outstanding leg room and great crew.
7. To my great surprise, my baggage arrived home at the same time I did. This is a huge shock after seeing an obviously confused baggage handler in Seattle walking around the airplane with only my bag in his hands immediately prior to taxiing. We are not sure why this little tableau took place but it does refresh your math skills after mentally calculating the replacement cost of the camera gear inside your luggage.
8. Flying while sick is, well, sick. I would like to see at least one swooning couch in all airport waiting areas.
9. Am I getting older or are pilots getting younger? I think a pair of eighth-graders flew us into Indianapolis. I get nervous if my pilot isn’t in his late 50′s, slightly graying, trim and with an air of absolute calm. I was glad to see one pilot, who undoubtedly went by the name “Booger” in his college fraternity, got on another plane near my gate.
10. I still think of flying as a magic carpet. It’s getting a little threadbare and frayed but there is still no better way to travel great distances. I just wish we could go back to the genteel age of flying, when men wore suits and tie, women wore cocktail dresses and the whole thing was considered a high adventure. Now, it’s more like riding a bus, especially when you see passengers trying to stuff live chickens into their carry-on bags.
I can’t wait to leave again.
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Home, sweet Home.
Posted by Brent on 7/20/10 • Categorized as WildBlog
It has been a long trip home including nearly-missed connections and the usual mystery flight delays. Having spent the last 16 hours in airports and airplanes, we must make a quick rant-
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE??!!!?
Without going into the usual cliche stand-up comic routine about the “joy” of flying, we offer the following 10 observations before winding down enough to sleep.
1. Since the move to charge for baggage, people are now attempting to claim things like semi-tractor tires and and vending machines as “carry-on baggage.”
2. People from foreign cultures provide an interesting spice to the stew of humanity and help reinforce the idea that we are all the same. However, we are not all the same in the category of personal hygiene. Why can’t certain cultures (which we won’t name) embrace soap or or, alternately, stop using cheap splash-on cologne as an all-purpose body wash.
3. After landing in Chicago, the man sitting in front of me was loudly holding a conference call ON THE RUNWAY! Is anyone that busy? If so, perhaps it is time to re-evaluate your life choices.
4. Parents today are completely, totally and utterly over-indulgent with their children. Yes, little Jeffery is a darling but he really shouldn’t be allowed to play with things like emergency exit doors. Here’s a clue to raising good kids: tell them No once in a while. It actually does some good.
5. No matter how many times you loudly tell the gate attendants that you have to get to Indianapolis, it won’t make the airplane appear any faster. It will, however, cause the other passengers to comment among themselves about what an obvious assbag you are.
6. While we certainly can’t hold a candle to those who are “road-warriors” by trade, we will claim experience on seven different airlines in the past two months. Based on this limited sample, we will recommend Alaska Air as head and shoulders above all major air carriers. Nice planes, outstanding leg room and great crew.
7. To my great surprise, my baggage arrived home at the same time I did. This is a huge shock after seeing an obviously confused baggage handler in Seattle walking around the airplane with only my bag in his hands immediately prior to taxiing. We are not sure why this little tableau took place but it does refresh your math skills after mentally calculating the replacement cost of the camera gear inside your luggage.
8. Flying while sick is, well, sick. I would like to see at least one swooning couch in all airport waiting areas.
9. Am I getting older or are pilots getting younger? I think a pair of eighth-graders flew us into Indianapolis. I get nervous if my pilot isn’t in his late 50′s, slightly graying, trim and with an air of absolute calm. I was glad to see one pilot, who undoubtedly went by the name “Booger” in his college fraternity, got on another plane near my gate.
10. I still think of flying as a magic carpet. It’s getting a little threadbare and frayed but there is still no better way to travel great distances. I just wish we could go back to the genteel age of flying, when men wore suits and tie, women wore cocktail dresses and the whole thing was considered a high adventure. Now, it’s more like riding a bus, especially when you see passengers trying to stuff live chickens into their carry-on bags.
I can’t wait to leave again.
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