Anyone for pastries??

While recently pondering possible hunting trips for next year, I thought about trying to schedule a long-dreamed-about bear hunt.   Upon considering the wisdom of actually stalking an animal that is quite likely to turn the hunter into the huntee, I was reminded of the story of a friend who was once a hunting guide.   At the time he had just graduated from a guide school in a large western state and was working as a packer, the person who serves as cook, bottle washer and indentured servant to the actual hunting guides.

My intrepid friend had taken a pack string back to a camp high in the mountains prior to the arrival of the guide and clients. Late one night, he heard pots and pans banging in the cook tent around 3 a.m. Clad only in a long johns and cowboy boots, he took his rifle and went to the tent, expecting the intruder to already be frightened off by the noise. What he found was a flour-covered bear the approximate size of a 1972 Cadillac Fleetwood limousine.

The bear took this interruption badly and let out a growl. My friend responded by coolly bringing up his rifle and shooting while simultaneously doing something that that ruined his flannel Union suit.

After the shot, the bear decided to false-charge my friend who bravely responded by running the up nearest ridge. After steeling his resolved for several minutes, he tiptoed down and again confronted the bear. This time the animal charged for real. After two more quick gunshots, the bear headed downhill while the packer went up, resulting in a double sonic boom. Demonstrating extremely good sense, my buddy waited until daylight to later find the bear deceased at the bottom of a nearby draw.

The whole experience with the floured bruin made a lasting impression. To this day, my friend cannot see a bear claw pastry without screaming, “He’s got me, he’s got me!” This always livens up business meetings.

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